Pals I Remember
by George Albert Leddy
To the Strong Hardware Employees (Dec. 25, 1947)
‘Twas the day before Christmas, and what do you think?
Well, Gilbert suggested, “we should have a drink.”
But money was scarce, and good whiskey was high;
But what the hell, Bill—when your throttle is dry!
So I pulled out a smacker, and he did the same;
Then Scaffer suggested, he get in the game.
But we told him “No,” and it wasn’t a bluff;
For he acts like a Jackass, when he drinks the stuff.
Then Joe came along, and we asked him about it;
And he says, “Why sure fellows—we can’t do without it!”
Well, he wiggled around, he unbuttoned his collar;
Stuck his hand in his pocket, and pulled out a dollar.
Then Holcumb came ‘round, with a sort-of a grin;
And said he’d donate, if we’d let him come in.
And we knew him of old, so we did not quite dare;
We remembered, he always drank—more than his share.
Then Charlie came round, and he looked kind’a tired;
From the coal he had heaved, as the boilers he’d fired.
So we gave him a drink, and ‘twas no more than right;
For we knew, when he had it, he never was tight.
Now, Fred is a fellow, and I’m here to say:
He’ll pay for good whiskey, and give it away.
I can’t understand, how such things can be done;
But the way that he did it, we had plenty of fun.
Now, there’s Leroy and Ralph, and Eddie and Jerry;
They never indulge, but they always are merry.
Well, now about Eddie, I may not be right:
For well I remember, I saw him one night:
And it sure makes me tremble, to think of it now:
That ‘son-of-a-sea-cook’ ate half of a cow!
He said it was tender, and suited his taste;
But on fellows like Eddie, it’s only a waste.
And then there’s the Major, a soldier at heart;
He’ll wait on the trade, if you get him to start;
But it’s hard on a fellow, to make a good sale;
And do it up right—when there’s six on his tail.
And then there is Izzie, his hair, it is red;
And when you first see him, you’d think he was dead;
But give him a writ, and he’ll bolt for the door.
Two dollars for Izzie—to hell with the store!
Then there is Herman, the strangest of men;
He’ll tell you a joke, with a sly, silly grin.
And ‘though, he appears like a good-natured lout;
I’ve never found out—what he’s grinning about.
And then there is Robert, if anyone cares;
He got his big start, by sweeping the stairs.
He is a fine fellow, with courage and pluck.
You see what it got him—he now drives a truck.
And now, there is Carrol, he’s new on the job;
He’s out in the stockroom, successor to Bob.
He came here quite recent, we don’t know him well;
But we will, if we listen, to the tales he can tell.
And then there’s MacDonald, so pious and meek;
I never saw him, but he’s taking a peek.
He likes his gals fat, that’s the way that I found him.
Well, he’s all set now—for there’s fat all around him!
There’s a brand new Stenog, she’s so quiet and meek;
I’ve seen her sweet smile, but I’ve not heard her speak.
I’ll give Quinn credit, he knows how to choose ‘em;
I hope he’ll behave himself, then he won’t lose ‘em.
And then there is Gladys, with the golden-brown hair;
I never remember, a Maiden more fair.
I often have wished, I could tell her about it;
But she’d slap me down—there’s no reason to doubt it.
And then there is Marion, a sweet, little doll;
No wonder, the Darling is loved by us all.
And Joyce is as sweet, as a little baby;
The fellows all whistle, when her they do see.
She’s short, fat and supple, and chucked full of life;
The sort of a girl, to make some man a good wife.
Now, the girls are all working, as busy as bees;
And praying to Santa: ”Send me a man—will you please!”
Now, there’s Vernon and Markus, our white-collard men;
If they loaf they get fat, so they work to stay thin.
For they think themselves perfect, and don’t want to change.
The way some people think; well, it sure does seem strange.
And as for myself—well, there’s not much to say;
For I don’t like to brag, so I think the best way;
Is to “Wish you a future, both merry and bright;
Merry Christmas to all—and to all, a Good Night!”
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